People lie so that others will form beliefs that are not true. The more consequential the beliefs—that is, the more a person’s well-being demands a correct understanding of the world or of other people’s opinions—the more consequential the lie.

In many circumstances in life, false encouragement can be very costly to another person.

pacifist.

The intent to communicate honestly is the measure of truthfulness.

Honesty is a gift we can give to others. It is also a source of power and an engine of simplicity. Knowing that we will attempt to tell the truth, whatever the circumstances, leaves us with little to prepare for. Knowing that we told the truth in the past leaves us with nothing to keep track of. We can simply be ourselves in every moment.

The temptation to do this is often born of an understanding that others will disapprove of our behavior.

By lying, we deny our friends access to reality9—and their resulting ignorance often harms them in ways we did not anticipate.

To lie is to erect a boundary between the truth we are living and the perception others have of us.

Vulnerability comes in pretending to be someone you are not.