love is an allowing

Some people aren’t ready for uninhibited love. If your lover is a person who has been abused in the past, he or she may need well-established boundaries in order to grow: You are allowed to say you’re angry, but not to shout it. Or, you are allowed to shout your anger, but not to touch your lover angrily. Boundaries provide a sense of safety, which

You and only you are responsible for what is inside your boundaries. If someone else is controlling your love, emotions, or values, they are not the problem. Your inability to set limits on their control is the problem.

True allowing also means letting someone go. To allow is to stand aside when someone needs space from us or even leaves us. This is an “A” in courage.

The issue for individuals is their ability to establish these boundaries in their daily interactions with others. This becomes especially important in the context of an intimate relationship. Having the confidence that you can establish boundaries in your personal life is the key to falling in love. This confidence allows a person to have that sens

Eros, while passionately moving to another, always respects the boundary of the other. Eros is destroyed if it doesn’t keep this boundary. It becomes something other than love. It may maintain its surge of emotion, but it loses its connection to the resonance of loving encounter. This happens because to violate another’s closedness is to lose perso