Looking for Alice

The real thing people should be actively looking for is strong emotional connection, as in: to what degree can I share who I am with this person, do they get it , how interested are they in who I am, my feelings and thoughts, can we accommodate each other’s preferences, are we good at talking. Once I asked a very happy couple how they knew they wer... See more

Jacob Falkovich says that single people often seek out similarity when complementarity is what makes relationships cohere long-term. It’s a great observation. But how to operationalize it? Maybe: look for someone you can’t initially understand, but also don’t feel like walking away from.