“Stop talking to me like I’m your enemy,” she says, jaw set and voice more serious than I thought she was capable of. “I’m not. I swear I’m not. I’m trying to be your partner in finding a solution to this mess, but you’re making that really hard with the way you speak to me.” I blink in surprise, a ripple of guilt trailing down my spine. “I’m

“Because I’m sick of being an intruder in your life, Pepper,”

“Nah. Just wanted to check in on you. Been thinking about you.”

Pepper’s face softens a bit. “I believe you. I can be . . .” She tilts her head up to the sky like the words she’s searching for are written in the clouds. “Defensive about it. People often have a really ridiculously apologetic response when I mention I’m autistic like it’s something I should feel bad about or whatever.” “I don’t think that at

Sometimes I hate myself. I hate my meekness and my boldness. I hate my fear and my audacity to try. Sometimes the hate digs its roots in so deep, it feels like it is me. I hate that hate. I have endless grace for everyone in the world, but none for myself. Why am I not allowed to make mistakes? Why does my compassion stretch to strangers but stop

“I always hope I’ll find a love letter in one of these,” she says, switching to a new shoe box. “Something achy and hopeful and a tiny bit desperate to express how much the recipient means to the writer.” Something hot glows through me, making my skin prickle and chest stretch. I realize, after a moment, it’s longing.

“My house, your house—the details of it don’t matter. I want our house. Our home. Next to you is my favorite place in the world, and that’s the only spot I care about holding on to.”

Emotion-free orgasms, emotion-free orgasms. Opal’s words loop around my head in a chant. That’s all this is. A simple agreement that we’ll both (hopefully) enjoy . . . If I can just get out of my own head long enough to do so.

“I don’t trust anyone to treat Pepper like she deserves,” she says at last. “She doesn’t have a stellar track record of people treating her well, and I can’t say this little situation you’ve tied her up in with Trish gives you any brownie points.” “I’m not looking to hurt Pepper,” I say, the words far more defensive than I intend. But it’s true. I