The whole of the ancient, master teachings on suffering come down to this: Suffering is the notion “This isn’t it,” and it’s variants such as, “I can’t bear this, it shouldn’t be happening,” and “I have to know how this will turn out” and “What if it gets worse?”

Freedom, waking up and fearlessness come down to the simplicity of, “Wait a minute,

A lot of meditation is just showing up for what we have, and there is joy in that. It’s diferent from the kind of happi- ness that comes from getting what you wanted. It’s a joy that doesn’t have a good reason. It’s a joy that allows you to be sad or upset, because you’re alive in the midst of it.

We may meditate in hopes that it will lower our stress and anxiety in everyday life, but the practice of meditation is actually about learning to embrace this moment, right now, even if it’s uncomfortable, imperfect, or even painful.

The less I’m trying to get something out of an experience, the more I find I can get into it, and the more I can be present for other people involved in it. This is not to say that life becomes a matter of unbroken good cheer; after all, it’s sad that a beautiful moment arises then vanishes. But it’s the flavor of sadness conveyed by the Japanese

Here are some rules of thumb that might help you navigate whatever practice you are trying out.

1. Criticizing, judging, or assessing yourself isn’t virtue. It doesn’t help in meditation; it’s just more noise. And if you are criticizing, judging, or assessing yourself, don’t criticize that, and so on, until you wear out and compassion enters.


2. Criticizin