It’s Okay to Outgrow the Life You Thought You Wanted

Figuring out what you want is the central task of adulthood, and it’s not an easy one.

Once you leave formal schooling, you’re catapulted into a world with infinite possibilities. You no longer have to show up at school to avoid detention or ace tests to make your parents proud. You’re finally unshackled from the training wheels of life, and now you... See more

Knowing who you are is grounding; it gives you a sense of trajectory. But when we assign words and meanings to what we know we like and value and want, we create attachments. We then strive to keep things within the parameters of which we’ve already accepted. Out of that, we create failure. We create suffering over self. We begin to believe that a

... See more

There’s a pervasive idea, at least among my peers, that [your 30s] should bring about a sense of calm and self-acceptance. We may have dispensed with the precepts surrounding marriage and kids, but there remains a non-specific expectation of “settling in.” Into yourself, into what you want. I took great comfort in this idea when I was in my 20s. I ... See more