It’s Okay to Feel Bad For No Reason

I grew up believing you had to have a reason to feel bad. Something had to have happened. You saw a scary movie. Somebody hurt your feelings. You’re coming down with something. You aren’t taking care of yourself.

Those major mood dips don’t happen to me very often anymore, thanks to two godsends: meditation, and friends who are willing to talk about how shitty they (or you) feel. Most people don’t seem to want talk about feeling awful, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because they also believe they need a reason to feel bad.

But those depressing explanations for feeling bad aren’t necessary when nobody (yourself included) is demanding a reason.

When you scan for faults in the world or in yourself, you always find plenty, and each can fuel endless rumination. You wind up adopting any number of grim beliefs in order to make the equation make sense:-I’m not doing enough-I can’t stop screwing up certain vital things-The world is mean and dangerous-There’s something wrong with my brain

Each type of sky has its own benefits and liabilities, but none of them are “wrong.” We no longer assume rain means we’ve displeased the gods. We don’t (usually) shake our fists at the sky in protest.

We acknowledge the conditions, and make adjustments. Put on a sweater, postpone the party, watch a movie. It’s okay to feel bad.

The assumption seemed to be that human beings normally feel good, or at least fine, and only an affliction of some kind, either short- or long-term, could explain why someone would feel bad.

But all of us are subject to the entire range of human emotion, and that itself is not a problem that needs to be fixed. I wonder how many interactions we have daily with clerks, cashiers, co-workers, and friends who are, at that moment, doing their best to appear okay.

Sometimes there are discernible reasons for low moods, of course, and it makes sense to act on them. (I don’t have a plan for my consumer debt, and I need one. My relationship is stagnating and I need to address that.) There are also serious, diagnosable mood disorders that need treatment.