Focus on the future to recover what was lost in the past

History can provide useful context; but using it to play the blame game can make things worse. The problem with evoking past (particularly irrelevant) offenses is that most couples will disagree on the “truth” of that history. How someone feels in a relationship is subjective, often biased in... See more

Instead, couples may find it more productive to focus on the future. In situations where relationships are the priority, research shows that constructive co-reflection—working toward a shared understanding and meaning—is more effective than brooding over one’s own perspective (Wenzel et al., 2023). Couples are also more likely to reach forgiveness... See more