They don’t really want to break up because the relationship has been working for them. This means that you are going to have to take control. When you have become accustomed to taking the back seat in your relationship and your partner has been making all the calls and setting all the terms, taking control can feel uncomfortable and unnatural;

Regardless of their past or lack of emotional maturity,

In relationships, EAPs can come off as very “hot and cold.” One moment, they are pleasant and warm—the next, they are angry or reactive. They often switch from being very loving and adoring of their partner to agitated and resentful. When you are in a relationship with an EAP, it often feels as though you are having to constantly walk on eggshells,

EAPs still need to be held accountable and you have the right to be free from the manipulation and trauma caused by the relationship.

In relationships, the emotionally abusive partner’s need for control often manifests in a variety of controlling behaviors (both consciously and unconsciously) that infringe on the autonomy of their partner. They tend to hold the belief that they have a say in what their partner does, who they spend time with, their interests, and their values.

Additionally, when you try to explain yourself and your position, it can appear as if you are having a discussion with the EAP and that the boundary is up for debate. Do not give the EAP any more opportunities to assert control or influence or make you question your decision. Your boundary is your boundary and that is all the EAP needs to know.

Subsequently, they have regular outbursts that can look a lot like tantrums. They might also pout, shut down, or leave a situation due to poor impulse control.

they want to be seen, heard, and responded to.

They prefer things to be done in a way that feels good and safe for them—even if it is at the expense of others or makes other people uncomfortable.