When formulating questions around the operative words, remember to use how, what, when, where, is, do, and can, instead of why.

“The meanest, most contemptible kind of praise is that which first speaks well of a man, and then qualifies it with a ‘but.’ ” 5 No matter how nice the comment is preceding the word “but,” the comment following it is what will be remembered.

Always remember where the responsibility for the problem belongs.

In order to control the negative effects that emotions can have on our bodies, it is important to be able to recognize these emotions.

If ulcers are caused by a bacteria, as some research indicates, it is probable that our emotions suppress our ability to fight the bacteria, allowing the ulcer to grow.

For communication to be clear, it is important to remember this: If you need or want something, ask for it.

The universal need within each of us—I am of worth, my feelings matter, and someone really cares about me.

You do not need to change your values or behavior when offering help.

The key to making validation a habit is to remember that every person you see has the universal need to believe inside themselves that: I AM OF WORTH, MY FEELINGS MATTER, AND SOMEONE REALLY CARES ABOUT ME.