Grit is a popular buzzword in parenting and education. It means sticking with something no matter how hard it is or how much adversity you must face to achieve it. That’s my definition. In her best-selling 2014 book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, the psychologist and researcher Angela Duckworth studied West Point cadets, inner-city Ch

You’ll hear this message loud and clear from me throughout this book: You want your

guessed it—the focus is on self-motivated learning, problem-solving, and an entrepreneurial mind-set.

Your Child Is Not Your Clone

Do you have a healthy relationship with technology? This is a big one. Research shows that the average American checks their phone eighty times per day. Can you believe that? Actually, as a high school teacher, I can. This compulsive phone checking leads to what the technology expert Linda Stone calls “continuous partial attention.”

We’ll do anything to prevent our children from struggling or suffering, which means that they never have to deal with hardships or adversity. As a result, they lack independence and grit, and they’re fearful of the world around them instead of empowered to innovate and create. Another big mistake:

We have to trust the basic goodness of people and the basic goodness of the world. And sometimes, our children can be our greatest teachers.

Set up a plan with your kids, not for your kids. No phones during meals, whether in your house or someone else’s. A 2018 study found that subjects who used their phones during dinner felt more distracted and experienced less enjoyment.7 No phones after bedtime. Children need to sleep, and phones are a distraction. Explain the critical importance of

“He’s taking longer because he’s smart.” Michael was a talented writer—he just needed more time to focus on his work. And I knew deep down he wanted to get it right, not just rush through it. That was the first time an adult had said that his abilities and intelligence were seen and respected. “To hear outside confirmation that someone believed in