sometimes we are held back by our own insecurities. As parents, this is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome, but we’re all capable of treating our children respectfully if we keep the basics in mind. Honor their wishes and interests, which may be different from our own. Challenge them to be their best at whatever activities they choose.

child to want to be with you, not to need to be with you.

I’d have them write me an apology and reflect on how they could improve (I guess I’m in good company, because Ruth Bader Ginsburg reportedly assigned essays when her children misbehaved).

Your Child Is Not Your Clone

The solution starts in the home, and that means it starts with you.

TRUST—Was your home a trusting environment? Did you trust your parents as a child? Did they trust you? How was trust shown or demonstrated in your family? Was there ever a breach of trust? If so, how was it resolved? How could you improve upon what you learned about trust as a child? What kind of a trusting environment do you want to create for you

KINDNESS: It is strange but true that we tend to treat those who are closest to us without the kindness and consideration that we extend to strangers. Parents love their children, but they are so familiar with them, they often take basic kindness for granted. And they don’t always model kindness as a behavior for the world as a whole. Real kindness

COLLABORATION—Was there a collaborative environment in your household? How did your parents encourage collaboration?

Set up a plan with your kids, not for your kids. No phones during meals, whether in your house or someone else’s. A 2018 study found that subjects who used their phones during dinner felt more distracted and experienced less enjoyment.7 No phones after bedtime. Children need to sleep, and phones are a distraction. Explain the critical importance of