How to Pick Your Life Partner

The main reason (for ending up) in unhappy relationships is that they’re consumed by a motivating force that doesn’t take into account the reality of what a life partnership is and what makes it a happy thing.

For a woman who wants to have biological children with her husband, she has one very real limitation in play, which is the need to pick the right life partner by forty, give or take.

The types of fear our society (and parents, and friends) inflict upon us—fear of being the last single friend, fear of being an older parent, sometimes just fear of being judged or talked about—are the types that lead us to settle for a not-so-great partnership. The irony is that the only rational fear we should feel is the fear of spending the lat... See more

So given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy?

The rule should be “whatever you do, don’t marry the wrong person,” but society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children.

• People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship


• Society has it all wrong and gives us terrible advice

→ Society encourages us to stay uneducated and let romance be our guide.→ Society places a stigma on intelligently expanding our search for potential partners. → Society rushes us.

• Our Biology Is Doing Us No Favors

→ Human bi... See more

A frenzy of big decisions for bad reasons and a lot of people messing up the most important decision of their life.

Well as it turns out, there are a bunch of factors working against us:

Fear is one of the worst possible decision-makers when it comes to picking the right life partner.