How to Keep House While Drowning: A gentle approach to cleaning and organising

success depends not on having strong willpower, but in developing mental and emotional tools to help you experience the world differently.

Harm reduction is always ethical.

Having a goal of momentum is great because it frees you to start with tasks that actually matter to you.

Free time does not automatically belong to one parent at the expense of the other.

Have you ever noticed it’s easier to do something when a friend is with you? Even if they don’t help, there is something about the presence of another person that can make doing tasks easier.

You have a body—you are not your body.

occasionally mess means I’m struggling with depression or stress. But those aren’t moral failings either—and neither is that moldy coffee cup I keep not taking to the kitchen.

No one just walks out the door to go to whatever assuming the other will watch the kids. Instead, we game plan what we need or would like to get done that weekend by way of both obligation and fun. It’s not about getting permission; it’s about giving respect.

My favorite trick is to cut myself a break on cooking dinner and order DoorDash, using the wait time to get some things done. Knowing I can be totally finished when the food arrives feels motivating to me.