The tool I use is Dan Siegel’s window of tolerance which is the space in which we can put up with intensity and arousal without becoming dysregulated. In our windows, we can meet unwanteds head-on without getting distressed. It takes practice, but you can increase your ability to be grounded and calm even when your trauma is being triggered. This m... See more

The aMCC has been shown to be central to willpower, and according to neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, it’s “the seat of the will to live.” It grows when we do things we don’t want to do, and athletes and people who see themselves as continually overcoming challenges (i.e., they see themselves as resilient) have larger aMCCs, as do superagers. The gr... See more

The unwanted and the shadow imagination are real and necessary parts of our inner landscape. They’re wisdom, dipped in discomfort.

“we cannot let go of our desire, our need for things to be a particular way, even though that very need is what is creating our suffering”

We can use the shadow imagination as a mechanism for uncovering our future power. When we’re introduced to how bad things could get, we’re at a choice point. We can turn away, we can dive into the waters of the worst-case scenario and allow them to drown us, or we can touch the suffering that’s possible and remind ourselves of our own abilities. We... See more