How to Be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly

We know that everyone wants to be loved, but some people have given up hope of finding or showing it.

Showing patient and enduring love helps someone change more than badgering or demanding ever will.

We will be there for others as we are now here for ourselves, fully present, calmly witnessing, not rushing in to fix or control.

Love is an unconditional positive regard with or without continuous liking. Love is like grace; it does not have to be earned. Liking is like approval; it does have to be earned.

“When you believe there is no love in you, put acts of love out there, and then you will find the love in yourself.”

We are touched by what Virgil, in The Aeneid, called “the tears in things.” We appreciate that built into all existence is a grief about impermanence; a vulnerability to disappointment, hurt, and loss; a resignation to suffering. That touches us both as participants in the givens of the human story and as loving witnesses to it.

Even in our infatuated state, we may realize that this is not the right relationship for us, that it has no future. Yet we often can’t let go. We may refer to this inability as our heart speaking, when it is actually our adrenals. We are under the influence of our own adrenaline, the hormone that keeps us attached whether or not our feelings are re

Giving and receiving love can become our primary life focus. Focusing on this combination is a way to become fully human, to fulfill ourselves psychologically. If love comes our way, it is welcome and enriching. But in spiritual practice, our focus is on giving love rather than finding someone from whom to receive it. We feel fulfilled spiritually

Allowing is supporting someone’s choice even if we do not agree with it. Allowing does not always mean accepting, but accepting always includes allowing.