Practice is about surrendering to the way things are inside us. Our success is in noticing how our mind works and in coming back to our breath whenever we become aware of our distractions. Our success is in continuing to show up, not in being utterly free of distracting mind-sets.

We love through connection, but we individualize through solitude.

To be impartial is to love everyone, but impartiality does not mean loving everyone in the same way.

Unconditional love in a relationship sounds like this: “I behave lovingly toward you no matter what you do, but I will speak up and say, ‘Ouch!’ if you hurt me. I won’t permit ongoing hurt, but I won’t withdraw from dialogue either. My love is not based on what you do but on who I am choosing to be in the world, someone who has found alternatives

Acceptance requires a freedom from any sense of threat by the other and in an absence of judgment or blame of someone.

Spiritual adulthood consists of expanding our love so that it is unbounded, a practice requiring recklessness.

Our adult task is to work indefatigably with the ego’s deceptions—using skillful means, not easy outs. —CHÖGYAM TRUNGPA RINPOCHE

Direct confrontation of an issue and communication about it is the best way to avoid unconscious, primitive revenge tactics in a relationship. Or is our choice for personal vindication through retribution a way of avoiding the intimacy that comes from sincere communication? Are we that subtle escape artist in our flight from intimacy?

4A technique of admitting, allowing, acting, and affirming