Listening is the ability to hear what people are saying, or not saying as distinguished from the words they enunciate.

The ultimate security in the corporate milieu or elsewhere, anywhere, is the self. I say it again. The self is the source of all security, not the boss, not the corporation, not the pension plan, but the self.

"I'd like to talk to you about a raise. Could I have a couple of minutes?" Take your time. Look the boss in the eye. Now describe the work you've done, the loyalty you feel and have demonstrated. Identify the one thing you can do better than anyone else. Go slow with it. Why are you unique? What quality, trait, or talent, what skill do you have

We must argue from the place where the frightened child abides. We must argue from the place where the whimpers and wailing are held back, where the anger boils, where the monster rises up and screams, where the lover and the saint and the ancient warrior fuse. That is where we must focus, in that rare, rich place, that nucleus of our being. That

The argument with children is won many years before adolescence sets in. It is won with unconditional love, with respect, and with trust. It is won by having been the child's advocate, the child's friend from the beginning, without having expected anything in return. It is not a conditional love given with the expectation of future compliance or

The voice plays the music of the soul. Listen to the sounds people make when they speak—only the sounds. Listen to the sounds made by your wife, by your children. Listen to the sounds made by the boss, by your colleagues, your husband. Listen to the sound of television announcers, to the preachers, to actors. Listen, not to the words, but to the

People who are telling the truth are not as concerned with making pretty phrases as they are with letting their souls run free. Concentrated on their feelings, people who are telling the truth speak from the heart, which is incapable of composing the precise linear thought of a plodding brain. And hearing stuff from the heart, the listener is

Understanding that the nature of the love relationship, we also understand that all attempts to exert power over the Other are assaults on the relationship that put the relationship at risk, for when the self is diminished, so is the relationship diminished. To the extent that one wins this battle, to the extent that the Other submits, to that

How do we express out of our hearts the feelings suffered by another? There is a cold intellectual word for it. It is called empathy. I call it crawling into the hide of the Other.