How much should you criticize other people? - Marginal REVOLUTION

How to criticize something you disagree with

Here are social psychologist Anatol Rapoport’s rules for criticizing something:

You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”

You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are ... See more

Express admiration for the good work of others. If you constantly criticize your equals or subordinates some of that criticism will rub off on you, hovering over you like a gray cloud wherever you go. People will groan at each new cynical comment, and you will irritate them. By expressing modest admiration for other people’s achievements, you parad

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If somebody is undergoing group criticism, the tribal part in you will want to join in the fun of righteously destroying somebody. Resist this, you’ll only add ugliness to the world. And anyway, they’ve already learned the lesson they’re going to learn and it probably isn’t the lesson you want.

Praise in public, criticize in private. If you’re praising someone’s behavior, let their team know! You are encouraging this behavior not just in them, but in all the people witnessing that praise. Criticizing someone’s behavior is an emotionally fraught moment. Don’t make it worse with an audience - they’ll be focused on what the audience thinks i... See more

My point is not that I alone am TRULY GREAT (although that’s obviously the subtext of most of what I write). I just mean that some of us have much, much more to say than just what is absolutely necessary, and when we walk around believing that we should shut the fuck up most of the time, we’re playing by the rules of people who either 1) don’t have... See more