For better or worse, I have a role to play here. They need me to manage this situation. To take responsibility not just for myself, but for them. The others are also part of my mission of survival. Each needs something different from me.

Arbel Yehoud and Gadi Mozes from Nir Oz.

Hersh looks at us. “He who has a why can bear any how,” he says.

We don’t let things just happen; we manage them. That’s something that was drilled into both of us from life working on the kibbutz. Always manage the situation. Leave no loose ends. Leave nothing in doubt. Let everyone speak their mind; don’t let them keep it bottled up.

between the river and the sea. They dream of establishing an Islamic empire that will conquer the whole world. In their minds, not only is there no such thing as Israel; there is no such thing as France or Britain or Sweden either. The whole world should be Muslim.

Almog. Almog Sarusi. And who are you?”

Hope is never something that comes easily. It’s always something you’ve got to fight for, to work on. Like Kiddush every Friday night, like Elia’s Havdalah songs at the end of every Sabbath, like the prayers that open every morning, this circle of thanksgiving is something that we stick to, cling to, cleave to. To search for something good. To stay

I would like to express my thanks to UK lawyers Adam Rose and Adam Wagner who advocated relentlessly for me, my brother Yossi, and other hostages since October 7, 2023.

“That’s the choice I made,” I say quietly. “I want to survive. And this is how. This sadness, this crying, this self-pity. It’s won’t help you.”