explained. “All I want to do is see your naked body, then reevaluate.”

I loved it, or at least I thought I ought to love it—I’ve never been very clear on that distinction.

sparkling mineral water, then drive the five hours up to Alna.

Asking for the woman’s cell-phone number was like asking for her hand in marriage. He knew he would be rejected.

Every year, the kids had to take a big exam that let the state know just how bad I was at doing my job. The exams were designed for failure. Even I couldn’t pass them.

later, I moved my bowels.

Earth is the wrong place for me, always was and will be until the day I die.

“Going clubbing” was always her request, but I couldn’t stand all that. A night under a colored lightbulb over twenty-dollar cocktails, getting hit on by skinny Indian engineers, not dancing, a stamp on the back of my hand I couldn’t scrub off. I felt vandalized.

More than anything in the world, perhaps more than winning her heart, he did not want to appear awkward.