Helen Garner on Happiness: ‘It’s Taken Me 80 Years to Figure Out It’s Not a Tranquil, Sunlit Realm’

Bill O’Brien used to define happiness as “the general sense that your life is headed in the right direction and that you have the opportunity to make a difference.” I have always thought of it as one of those odd qualities we value but cannot achieve by direct effort. Have you ever known anyone working to be happy? In my experience such people have

“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”

― Henry David Thoreau

That’s right. I’m going to say something outrageous here, but happiness is overrated. It’s not like it’s a steady state. If you’re thirsty, happiness is a glass of cold water, for example. But too much of it, you drown. So it’s very contextual and it’s short-lived and happiness is the by-product of being in the right relationship with your own soul

Le bonheur, pour moi, c’est de pouvoir revivre ces moments inoubliables. Si nous apprenons à envisager notre vie non pas sous la forme d’un trait comme le Temps d’Aristote, mais comme autant d’instants de plénitude, ces huit années d’attente passées à la table de l’aimée apparaissent non plus comme une bizarrerie, une marotte prêtant à rire mais co