added by Lael Johnson and · updated 6h ago
Healing the Shame That Binds You
The problem of toxic shame is ultimately a spiritual problem.
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago
Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive and defensive way. They try to be more than human (perfect and controlling) or less than human (losing interest in life or stagnated in some addictive behavior).
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Jonathan Leland added 6mo ago
He goes on to say that without feeling, nothing matters, and with feeling, anything can matter.
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago
Shame begets shame.
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago
Total self-love and acceptance is the only foundation for happiness and the love of others.
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago
A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You cannot offer yourself to another person if you do not know who you really are.
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Jonathan Leland added 6mo ago
This process is a reversal of the order of nature. Now the child is taking care of the parents’ needs, rather than the parents taking care of the child’s needs. This caregiver role is strangely paradoxical. In an attempt to secure parental love and avoid being abandoned, the child is in fact being abandoned. Since the child is there for the parent,
... See morefrom Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago
My general working definition of compulsive/addictive behavior is “a pathological relationship to any mood-altering experience that has life-damaging consequences.”
from Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
rob hardy added 5mo ago
For example, in my beginning relationships I always went too far and wanted too much. If I met a girl and we hit it off, I immediately began talking about her in terms of marriage—even after one date! Once she was in love with me, I expected her to take care of me like a mother. Needy children need parents, so adult children turn lovers into parent
... See morefrom Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
Frank Brown added 6mo ago