We believe that adults of any age can grow and that every day is a good time to rejoice in our being, to celebrate what we do well, and to go about changing any parts of our lives that we want to do better.

improve your skills for taking care of yourself, evaluate the way you were parented, and discover ways to heal from the uneven parenting in your family of origin.

Giving someone the gift of unconditional love doesn't mean always agreeing, or accepting any behavior no matter how hurtful, or accepting substandard performance of tasks, or hiding our anger. It does mean being honest, working through differences, negotiating and renegotiating agreements, holding one another accountable, and staying respectful in

providing nutritious food and opportunities to strengthen body, mind, and spirit,

Parenting children with unsatisfactory attachment backgrounds involves challenging their prior decisions and wearing them down.

Children with parents who undervalue themselves will not learn to value the parents, themselves, or others.

The three hungers are equally important. Children and adults may crave more of one than another, at any one time, but we can't always recognize that. Therefore, it is safest to offer a balance of all three.

Those of us who were parented in ways that are not supportive to us now can rebuild our own internal structures as we parent our children. We can grow up again at any age. You can use the Structure Chart to help you do that.

When our sense of self becomes too closely linked with our doing, our accomplishments, we shame ourselves inappropriately. Then, when we don't do well or fear that we won't do well, our very being, our very worth feels threatened. No wonder we are tempted to avoid responsibility and hide or quickly throw shame onto others. Think of inappropriate