Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process.

To invent creative options, then, you will need to (1) separate the act of inventing options from the act of judging them; (2) broaden the options on the table rather than look for a single answer; (3) search for mutual gains; and (4) invent ways of making their decisions easy. Each of these steps is discussed below.

One standard of legitimacy does not preclude the existence of others.

Tom, one of our colleagues, had his parked car totally destroyed by a dump truck. The car was covered by insurance, but the exact amount Tom could recover remained for him to work out with the insurance adjuster. Insurance Adjuster Tom We have studied your case and we have decided the policy applies. That means you’re entitled to a settlement of

Generating possible BATNAs requires three distinct operations: (1) inventing a list of actions you might conceivably take if no agreement is reached; (2) improving some of the more promising ideas and converting them into practical alternatives; and (3) selecting, tentatively, the one alternative that seems best.

If negotiators view themselves as adversaries in a personal face-to-face confrontation, it is difficult to disentangle their relationship from the substantive problem. In that context, anything one negotiator says about the problem seems to be directed personally at the other and is received that way. Each side tends to become defensive and

So show that you understand them. “Let me see whether I follow what you are telling me. From your point of view, the situation looks like this. . . .” As you repeat what you understood them to have said, phrase it positively from their point of view, making the strength of their case clear.

peer group; role, the desire to have a meaningful purpose; and status, the desire to feel fairly seen and acknowledged. Trampling on these interests tends to generate strong negative emotions. Attending to them can build rapport and a positive climate for problem-solving negotiation.[1]

Discuss each other’s perceptions. One way to deal with differing perceptions is to make them explicit and discuss them with the other side. As long as you do this in a frank, honest manner without either side blaming the other for the problem as each sees it, such a discussion may provide the understanding they need to take what you say seriously,