Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition

As you work your way step by step through Imago Therapy, you will be creating a zone of safety between you—a sacred space we call the Space Between—that is essential for getting the love you want. You might liken this zone to a river that runs between you. You both drink from the river and bathe in it, so it’s important that it be free from garbage

we think we are alike in significant ways, and when that does not check out, we object to our partners, or the world, being different from how we see it.

When we fall in love, this unconscious, trapped in the eternal now and having only a dim awareness of the outside world, is trying to re-create the environment of childhood.

You must move from self-care to caring for this Space Between.

Later in life, when you have a conflict with your partner, the intensity of your response can be amplified by this hidden pathway.

Think of your old brain as being hardwired and determining most of your automatic reactions.

Safety is nonnegotiable, and it is created by structure. Safety makes it possible for couples to be vulnerable with each other, drop their guards, open up, and become what we call present to each other.

partners flooding each other with all sorts of affirmations on a daily basis, to increase positive connecting.

your old brain segregates all people into six categories. Is this someone to: (1) nurture, (2) be nurtured by, (3) have sex with, (4) run away from, (5) submit to, or (6) attack.