Getting beyond small talk: Study finds people enjoy deep conversations with strangers
apa.org
Getting beyond small talk: Study finds people enjoy deep conversations with strangers
people fail to anticipate how much learning happens in conversa-tions with strangers. In a series of studies, Atir and colleagues [9] brought strangers together for 10-min conversations. Compared with how much participants expected to learn from a conversation prior to having it, they consistently reported learning more inter-esting, useful, and ge... See more
Stav Atir • Talking to strangers: Intention, competence, and opportunity
Sam Liebeskind added
higher rates of well-being were associated more with people who had deep conversations than those who made more small talk.
Jay Shetty • 8 Rules of Love: The Sunday Times bestsellling guide on how to find lasting love and enjoy healthy relationships, from the author of Think Like A Monk
Sherry Turkle made a provocative observation in her 2016 book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. She claimed that it takes seven minutes for a conversation to really get good. In those first seven minutes, participants are mostly giving standard answers to one another’s questions. However engagened and genuine they may be,... See more
TIP ONE: ASK DEEP QUESTIONS
A deep question asks someone about their values, beliefs or experiences. Rather than asking someone about the facts of their life (“Where do you live?”) it asks how they feel about their life. (“What’s the best part of where you live?”) Studies show that people love answering deep questions, because it gives us a chance ... See more
A deep question asks someone about their values, beliefs or experiences. Rather than asking someone about the facts of their life (“Where do you live?”) it asks how they feel about their life. (“What’s the best part of where you live?”) Studies show that people love answering deep questions, because it gives us a chance ... See more
Susan Cain • How to turn "small talk" into Big Talk
Jillian and added
So why don’t people talk more? Epley continued his research and came up with an answer to the mystery: We don’t start conversations because we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy them. We underestimate how much others want to talk; we underestimate how much we will learn; we underestimate how quickly other people will want to go deep and get
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
We too often think that deep conversations have to be painful or vulnerable conversations. I try to compensate for that by asking questions about the positive sides of life: “Tell me about a time you adapted to change.” “What’s working really well in your life?” “What are you most self-confident about?” “Which of your five senses is strongest?” “Ha
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
Cleon and added
Despite having more opportunities than ever to connect with strangers, and much to gain from doing so, people often refrain from talking with, and listening to, strangers. We propose a framework that classifies obstacles to connecting with strangers into three categories concerning intention (under-estimating the benefits of conversations), compete... See more
Stav Atir • Talking to strangers: Intention, competence, and opportunity
Sam Liebeskind added
Stav Atir, Xuan Zhao, et al.
