Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

Lunatic: (noun) Wildly or giddily foolish.

If you put a bunch of chameleons on top of a bunch of chameleons on top of a bowl of Skittles what would happen? Is that science? Because if so, I finally get why people want to do science.

Why is it “incapable” and “unable” instead of “uncapable” and “inable?” You can have an inability but you can’t be inable. I’m uncapable of understanding how these decisions were made.

How can we be expected to properly judge ourselves? We know all of our worst secrets. We are biased, and overly critical, and occasionally filled with shame. So you’ll have to just trust me when I say that you are worthy, important, and necessary. And smart.

There’s something about depression that allows you (or sometimes forces you) to explore depths of emotion that most “normal” people could never conceive of.

Benedict Cumberbatch is like Alan Rickman Benjamin Buttoning.

it’s when you’re convinced that any success you have is due to luck and that at any moment everyone will realize that you are a tremendous loser and that you aren’t as cool as they thought you were.

Bruce Springsteen said you can’t start a fire without a spark, but you can start it with a magnifying glass. It ruins the rhyme scheme but at the cost of science. And arson. But maybe it’s still a spark even if it starts with a magnifying glass? Maybe the first flame is always a spark? But that’s like saying you can’t start a fire without a fire. T

Whenever Hailey tells me kids at school were mean to her I want to go find those kids and tell them that I’m them from the future and that they’ve failed miserably. And then I’d be like, “And look how fat you got.”