Five wholesome, algorithm-free tips for cultivating a rich(er) social life

I’d substitute genuine social interaction with a swipe, comment, message, or like. Keeping up with friends was essentially optimized– no longer did you have to text, call, or coordinate a meeting to catch up. You could just glance at their latest post and feel some shallow sense of connection. Social media provides the facade of friendship with lit... See more

Better social nutrition

Social media feels like the “empty calories” of human connection. I’m filling my cup with connections, but they lack nutrition. They’re social donuts.

In its place, I’ve spent most of my social time in intimate and often vulnerable 1-1 conversations, usually while on walks in the woods.

I’ve been more present with my wife, kid... See more

On Finding Your People: I’m told I have an unusual talent for finding wonderful people. Below is my strategy for having a rich social life in any large city Disclaimer: This will require you acting in a way that is not normal. You may need to decide whether you want to be normal yet lonely or unusual yet connected 0. Treat it as a second job. For... See more

Instead of having a dozen semi-close friends, get to know hundreds of people casually through meetups and via the internet, and make a small group of really close friends you see many times a week.

Still, as Baszucki made clear, the goal is still actual social networking: surely that will always be better than interacting with an AI! Or will it? It seems to me that perhaps the most important constraint on the web — to actually interact with people as if they are, well, people — disappeared a long time ago.

I was talking to a younger friend about this a while back—your Internet presence is increasingly more valuable than your real-life presence. Which is weird and dystopian and I don’t really know how to think about it. But it’s true, and I think people who are like,  I don’t need the Internet , don’t understand the extent to which much of the p

... See more

People are not building meaningful social relationships on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Snap, or Twitter. On these platforms, you don't have friends but followers, content is put over people, and performance drives behaviors. The first wave of social networks are everything but social. They’re media monetized by performance advertising, which has... See more

What do we need, and what do we only reach for out of habit? What exhausts, and what nourishes?

Social environments on the internet provide a bountiful — and sometimes incongruous — bundle: conversation, riffing, jokes and shitposts, entertainment, learning, distraction, inspiration, meeting interesting people.

It's a beautiful bundle, to be sure! It... See more