“I’ve come to call this heroic individualism: an ongoing game of one-upmanship, against both yourself and others, paired with the limiting belief that measurable achievement is the only arbiter of success. Even if you do a good job hiding it on the outside, with heroic individualism you chronically feel like you never quite reach the finish line... See more

Have I occasionally felt aggrieved by this or that thing that has occurred to me over the course a decade-plus of attempting to publish a book, sell a screenplay and/or get a tenure-track job? Sure. Who hasn’t? Trying to turn blood into a diamond can feel like a soul-sucking pursuit regardless of your race, age or sexual orientation.

For some reason, this never seems to occur to people. I was the tallest kid in my class growing up, and older men would often clap me on the back and say, “You’re gonna be a great basketball player one day!” When I’d balk, they’d be like, “Don’t you want to be on a team? Don’t you want represent your school? Don’t you want to wear a varsity jacket... See more

I started to reflect on my own trajectory with fear that it didn’t mirror my ambition, work ethic, or deep care about the role of work in a life. Had I pointed my ambition in the wrong direction? What did I have to show for all my effort? Had I made some irreversible, unforced error with my career? How much money had I left on the table? Would the... See more