Eroticism, then, is about gravity, not about gratification, the pull toward something that reorients the self. And this gravity manifests not only in romantic or sexual relationships, but in every domain where desire dares to disrupt duty.

Another important way in which the erotic connection functions is the open and fearless underlining of my capacity for joy. In the way my body stretches to music and opens into response, hearkening to its deepest rhythms, so every level upon which I sense also opens to the erotically satisfying experience, whether it is dancing, building a... See more

And one of the great tragedies of our time is how thoroughly we are trained to distrust this kind of knowing. From a young age, we are encouraged to prioritise strategy over spontaneity, prudence over passion. We are told to plan our lives, manage our time, brand our personalities. Desire, in this framework, is a liability... too wild, too messy,... See more