Drunk Mom: A Memoir

that the next time she drinks she will be able to drink just enough and no more to find that perfect balance of being buzzed but not falling on her face. And in order to find that ultimate happy spot, an addict will drink just enough—just one more—to perfect that balance. She is almost there, in fact. Perhaps one more drink will add a nice polish t

When I don’t drink, I think about it.

I juggled friends and environments.

An alcoholic who is in the throes of addiction believes

Asking for help means there will be consequences and they will be dire.

Nothing in my most recent history testifies in favor of this belief,

We’ll always understand what it’s like to be afraid to wake up.

I don’t know if I really need a program that deals with addictions—I wouldn’t go that far—but at the same time, just in case, I know that I could do something to learn to manage better, to perhaps train my body to only want a bit—a can of lemon-tinted beer or two, no more—and to not disappoint me with another blackout.

this is it about addiction. You can film it and talk and write about it but there’s no way to capture it. It’s a black hole. A black hole sucking us—the addicts—in, sometimes spitting us out, sometimes not, sometimes sucking us back in again. And again.