Parents must rear their children toward that one day when the child begins to seek his or her freedom, when the insect, whether an ugly moth or a beautiful butterfly, seeks to abandon the cocoon. During the years between infancy and adolescence, the winning argument will have already been made. The winning argument will have been love; the losing a

Focus on what they want the child to accomplish. Celebrate the child’s successes and choices. See situations from the child’s perspective, as well as their own. Creatively teach the child how to communicate her wishes and frustrations with words, in an acceptable manner. Hold the child accountable to those teachings.