Don’t “Should” on Your Kids

Losing is tough, so allowing them to take ownership does not mean piling on with criticism or critique. We are all vulnerable to a loss, so they still need encouragement, love, and support. As we can’t let a win go to our head, we can’t allow a loss to go to our heart. They need reassurance after losing that they are still great.

Our identity (I) is who we are, whereas our role (R) is what we do. Who you I is not who you R. Although important, the role of an athlete is just part of their identity. The family identity becomes wrapped up in the athletic success as well.

Asking your son or daughter to practice with you is different than telling them to practice for you. It’s a difference between a vicarious and supportive parent. Have fun with them; enjoy the times at practice and spending time with one another.

Failure is never fatal. It may feel like it for a while, but it is only a challenge. Keeping athletics in the proper perspective for our children helps them keep their problems in perspective.

David Boudia, says there are two types of game-day athletes. He calls them “plus or minus athletes.” His theory is based on the research from George Miller. The principle that the average number of information bits we retain in our short-term memory is seven. For example, the length of our phone number.25 Plus-two athletes can comprehend more infor

Not knowing the solution is painful and uncomfortable. However, the only way to build mental toughness and improve is to find a way, figure it out, and make adjustments. Athletics is one of the last bastions of having to find a way and figure it out, because unlike the test examples above, an athlete’s test is the game. Unfortunately, many parents

Parents who constantly should on their kids produce kids who should on themselves.

How do you introduce and describe your kids? “There goes our little winner” or “Here comes Johnny, our star goalie.” Be careful about using descriptors that emphasize only part of your child’s identity. No one is always a winner and we certainly don’t always lose.

If we want to know why kids feel entitled to playing time, winning, and success, then you may particularly enjoy the following. What’s changed is that kids no longer have to “figure it out.” They don’t have to remain uncomfortable or find a way. Nowadays, when athletes struggle, someone else provides the answer sheet. We take care of it and taking