We Really Should Hang Out More Often

If we don't have real third places, what do we have instead? Oldenburg calls what we have as non-places. In real places, a human being is a unique individual person. In non-places, individuality disappears and you're either a customer, a client, an address to be billed, or a car to be parked. Places have now mostly been reduced to consumerism. Alli

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Ersatz third places can also be expensive, so think Soho House. So people who can't afford to hang out in one of them have to make do with under maintained, bare minimum public places. Oldenburg notes men drinking beers outside convenience stores in the parking lot because there's no seating actually inside the stores or teens gathering in a local

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Ray Oldenberg introduced the idea of the third place in his 1989 book, "The Great Good Place". He writes that, "Third places thrive best in locales where community life is casual, where walking takes people to more destinations than cars, and where there's an interesting diversity of people in the neighborhood." He says, "I

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Creating high density of not only people, but ideas and energy = serendipity and aliveness. Lewis Mumford writes that the primary purpose of the city is “to permit—indeed, to encourage—the greatest possible number of meetings, encounters, challenges, between varied persons and groups, providing as it were a stage upon which the drama of social life... See more

To get the most out of third places, you’ve got to find one you enjoy frequenting. Mine your interests, Littman says, to discover a location that fulfills your needs. For instance, if you love books but don’t necessarily want to discuss them with others, find a bar or café that offers silent reading nights for people who want to read communally. Se... See more

We’ve lost gradients of intimacy, a concept from architecture, the ability to loiter and meander through a space, engaging when we want in varying levels of expression. We don’t have any peripheral vision on the internet. We have to be in one place or the other. Simultaneously, we’re never really in any place—we can always blame connection issues a... See more

People will struggle to structure their time now that virtual activities carry more social weight than they did in the past. IRL hangouts have more tangible controls and barriers to entry that prevent people from engaging endlessly, and physical anchors that help form habits and routines. Without that, people are going to either burn out or quickly... See more