updated 17h ago
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
But talking about fault is similar to talking about truth — it produces disagreement, denial, and little learning. It evokes fears of punishment and insists on an either/or answer. Nobody wants to be blamed, especially unfairly, so our energy goes into defending ourselves.
from Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Sheila Heen
meghna added 8mo ago
When competent, sensible people do something stupid, the smartest move is to try to figure out, first, what kept them from seeing it coming and, second, how to prevent the problem from happening again. Talking about blame distracts us from exploring why things went wrong and how we might correct them going forward. Focusing instead on understanding
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meghna added 8mo ago
The point is this: difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.
from Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Sheila Heen
meghna added 8mo ago
- The truth is, intentions are invisible. We assume them from other people’s behavior. In other words, we make them up, we invent them.
from Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Sheila Heen
Minsuk Kang 강민석 added 9mo ago
In fact, the gap between what you’re really thinking and what you’re saying is part of what makes a conversation difficult. You’re distracted by all that’s going on inside. You’re uncertain about what’s okay to share, and what’s better left unsaid. And you know that just saying what you’re thinking would probably not make the conversation any easie
... See morefrom Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Sheila Heen
meghna added 8mo ago