Dark Matter: A Novel

“Are you happy in your life?” In the shadow of this moment, my life is achingly beautiful.

It’s a strange thing, being the parent of a teenager. One thing to raise a little boy, another entirely when a person on the brink of adulthood looks to you for wisdom. I feel like I have little to give. I know there are fathers who see the world a certain way, with clarity and confidence, who know just what to say to their sons and daughters. But

“And we’re not lost.” We are so fucking lost. Literally adrift in the nothing space between universes. “We’re not lost.”

There’s an energy to these autumn nights that touches something primal inside of me. Something from long ago. From my childhood in western Iowa.

Amanda says, “Jason, this isn’t your world. That wasn’t your wife. You can still go home and find them.” Intellectually, I know she’s right, but emotionally, that just ripped my guts out. I am hardwired to love and protect that woman.

“We all live day to day completely oblivious to the fact that we’re a part of a much larger and stranger reality than we can possibly imagine.”

Nothing exists. All is a dream. God—man—the world—the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars—a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space—and you…. And you are not you—you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. MARK TWAIN

“Forty ampoules left. Half are yours. That gives us each twenty chances to get this right. What do you want to do?” “I’m not sure. All I know at this point is that I’m not going back to my world.” “So do you want to stay together, or is this goodbye?” “I don’t know how you feel, but I think we still need each other. I think maybe I can help you get

Being with Daniela isn’t like being home. It defines home.

I can’t stop thinking, I am here. I am actually in this place. It exists. At least for a moment, fear has left me. I’m filled with wonder. I say, “ ‘The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.’ ” Amanda looks at me. “Einstein’s words, not mine.”