Conversations for Change
CHAPTER 1 Emotional Intelligence
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
When people fight about something, the subject of the argument is rarely the real issue. The real issue is about vulnerability, connectedness, safety, trust, or love—which are all emotional states.
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
The Emotional Ladder
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Emotions and values are linked together because what we value will trigger our emotions. Our values guide where we want to focus our energy and what we want to talk about. It is this connection that we will explore next.
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Emotional states of Being We are always feeling something.
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Freedom Passion Enthusiasm Positive expectations Optimism Contentment Boredom Pessimism Frustration A sense of being overwhelmed Disappointment Doubt Worry Blame Discouragement Bitterness Vengefulness Hatred Jealousy Insecurity Guilt Unworthiness Grief Depression Powerlessness Inability to concentrate
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Self-regulation. Deciding what you want to do with an emotion—in other words, being proactive rather than reactive to an emotion—and intentionally shifting your emotional state so that you are not hijacked into behaving in a way you will regret later
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Motivation. Knowing what excites you and playing to your own passions as you make decisions; using your favorite skills and abilities so you enjoy your work
Shawn Kent Hayashi • Conversations for Change
Love Joy Hope Sadness Envy Anger Fear