Contemplative Dyads

embodied empathy, a combination of cognitive empathy and compassion that keeps you anchored in your body.

The Buddhist teacher Matthieu Ricard calls this dilemma “empathy fatigue.” In a study of doctors and nurses, Ricard and his collaborator Tania Singer, a neuroscientist and director of the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig, Germany, found that those who have empathy—who identify directly with their patients’ difficulties—get burned out. Those who have

Greg calls his interpersonal meditation practice Insight Dialogue. While engaged in conversation, instead of immediately responding when someone speaks, we pause for a moment, relax our body and mind and mindfully notice what we are experiencing. We might inquire, “What really wants attention?” and notice the feelings and thoughts that are arising.

Both these centering practices will strengthen identification with the objective, compassionate self-observer. Once you have the ability to identify with the witness, you can use your period of meditation for working with your immature selves, and for listening to the guidance of your enlightened selves.

“cognitive empathy” or “social intelligence,”15 which is to appreciate what’s going on emotionally with another person without any contagion of feelings.