commitment is an act of agency

What accounts for this hesitation? Why do we love committers but act like browsers? I think it’s because of three fears. First, we have a fear of regret: we worry that if we commit to something, we will later regret having not committed to something else. Second, we have a fear of association: we think that if we commit to something, we will be vul... See more

On our run I tell J: the unhealthy version of myself used to abandon things just because they got painful or inconvenient. The healthy part of me finds joyfulness in persisting in something for a very long time. In hindsight it sounds really obvious but it genuinely eluded me for a really long time: the mark of overall healthiness in spirit is bein... See more

That’s what commitments are—alternatives to self-obsession. Commitments free us to dedicate ourselves to something bigger than ourselves—to something beyond our shells. The French philosopher Jacques Maritain said that the meaning of life is “self-mastery for the purpose of self-giving.” This is the challenge of growing up—to turn the corner from s... See more