Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

To be happy we need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

to love and be loved, and to believe they are worthwhile and know someone else believes that also.1 I

What we, as codependents, need to learn to do is fulfill these desires, needs, and wants in ways that don’t hurt ourselves or other people, in ways that allow maximum enjoyment of life.

If you want to act crazy that’s your business, but you can’t do it in front of me. Either you leave or I’ll walk away. You can spoil your fun, your day, your life—that’s your business—but I won’t let you spoil my fun, my day, or my life.

First, we stop blaming and hating ourselves.

I will not allow criminal behavior in my home. I will not rescue people from the consequences of their alcohol abuse or other irresponsible behavior. I will not finance a person’s alcoholism or other irresponsible behavior. I will not lie to protect you or me from your alcoholism. I will not use my home as a detoxification center for recovering alc

We need to invite emotions into our lives. Then make a commitment to take gentle, loving care of them. Feel our feelings. Trust our feelings and trust ourselves. We are wiser than we think.

… If I can accept that I am who I am, that I feel what I feel, that I have done what I have done—if I can accept it whether I like all of it or not—then I can accept myself.

I will not allow anyone to physically or verbally abuse me. I will not knowingly believe or support lies. I will not allow chemical abuse in my home.