Our desire to fit in with the group comes from our history. Group interests were well served from a high level of conformity. But so too were our individual interests. Survival inside the tribe was hard but survival outside the tribe was impossible. Because we needed the group, our individual interests became secondary to the group interests.

if you find yourself exerting energy to fit in with a crowd, if you’re frequently fearful of disappointing other people, if you’re afraid of being an outsider, or if the threat of scorn fills you with dread, then beware! The social default is in charge.

You can put energy into things you control or things you don’t control. All the energy you put toward things you don’t control comes out of the energy you can put toward the things you can.

Most people go through life assuming that they’re right … and that people who don’t see things their way are wrong.2 We mistake how we want the world to be with how it actually is.

We resist change even when change is for the best.

The good news is that the same biological tendencies that make us react without reasoning can be reprogrammed into forces for good.

some of the many inbuilt biological vulnerabilities that leave us even more exposed to the emotion default’s influence: sleep deprivation, hunger, fatigue, emotion, distraction, stress from feeling rushed, and being in an unfamiliar environment.

If you want better-than-average results, though, you’ll have to think clearly. And thinking clearly is thinking independently.

One way of creating space for reason in your thinking is to ask yourself what your exemplars would do if they were in your position.