How we perceive can make real change in another’s self-perception. Seeing good can also change the way we talk about and approach a person.

Since no one I ever heard of got all their needs met right away all the time when they were babies, we are all left with some residue of feelings around our essential needs for food, shelter, and connection. This is our life challenge: in moments where we feel urgency or terror, can we bring perspective to our yetzer, or do we impulsively grab what

Grounded in our goodness, which connects us to our source, we can skillfully manage the attacks that are sure to come our way as we make change.

Try making a commitment to seeking and finding a good point in yourself each day for a week. Then seek and find good points in other people for a second week. Then seek and find good points in the team or group with whom you work for a third week. Make this a daily practice for three weeks, and see if looking for good points becomes more habitual

Hitbodedut literally means “solitude” or “being by oneself,” but it is generally used in Jewish literature to refer to any meditative or contemplative practice that is done on one’s own. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe warns that without some time for hitbodedut—contemplative reflection—life is just a stream of activities.

In IFS, asserting self energy is the way to be our most grounded, centered selves.

This process brings the inner dynamic to the level of consciousness, thus making it less likely to undermine my longer-term goals. In this step of sensitivity, we are just noticing the dynamics, not actually making changes. Cultivating

We have drives in us that urge us to respond to stimuli as wounded young children, still hurting from unmet needs for recognition or love. Are we going to shrink back into the wounded self, or are we going to notice and value the relationships in which our lives are embedded and see that we are part of a larger system? Noticing the value of these

Yom Kippur is seen as one of the most joyous days in the Jewish calendar because it marks the reconnection of each person with his or her highest self and with God.