Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier

Enjoyment takes work and forgoing pleasures; satisfaction requires sacrifice and doesn’t last; purpose almost always entails suffering. Getting happier, in other words, requires that we accept unhappiness in our lives as well, and understanding it isn’t an obstacle to our happiness.

When someone says, “You are wrong,” respond with “Tell me more.”

Positive and Negative Affect Schedule, or PANAS.

First, when you’re choosing forgiveness, remember that resolving a conflict is not charity—it primarily benefits you.

you can’t choose your feelings, but you can choose your reaction to your feelings.

“I do not know what this day will bring, but I will accept it.”

But the two most valuable things you’ll learn—the words you should tape to your refrigerator or frame and hang on the wall someplace where you’ll see them five or ten times a day—are these: “Your emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action—that’s all they are. Your conscious brain,

The first is enjoyment. This might sound like pleasure—“feeling good.” However, this isn’t correct. Pleasure is animal; enjoyment is completely human. Pleasure emanates from parts of the brain dedicated to rewarding us for certain activities, like eating and sex, that in earlier times would help keep us alive and passing on our genes. (Today the th

That’s because happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction. We won’t find complete happiness on this side of heaven, but no matter where each of us is in life, we can all be happier. And then happier, and then happier still.