try to bypass the caprice by redirecting the child’s attention, for example by telling a story about her own life. “Stories about parents are always interesting to children,” the psychologist says.

Saying one, two, three isn’t rocket science. Some American parents certainly say it, too. But the logic behind it is very French. “This gives him some time, and it’s respectful to the child,” Daniel Marcelli says.1 The child should be allowed to play an active role in obeying, which requires giving him time to respond.

parents shouldn’t mistake angering a child for bad parenting. To the contrary, “If the parent can’t stand the fact of being hated, then he won’t frustrate the child,

“excessive praise . . . distorts children’s motivations; they begin doing things merely to hear the praise, losing sight of the intrinsic enjoyment.”

it’s only until the baby is four months old. After that, bad sleep habits are formed.

“We need more of that j’adore cette baguette,”

Most say they started doing The Pause when their babies were a few weeks old.

What’s different about French moms is that they get back their pre-baby identities, too. For

my children have an emotional life that’s separate from mine, and that I can’t constantly protect them from rejection and disappointment.