Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no.

When they no longer have control over you, they will find a different way to relate. But, as long as they can control you with their anger, they will not change.

For example, when Paul sets boundaries on Meredith’s demands, he forces her to become more independent.

Practice is important in learning boundaries and responsibility. Our mistakes are our teachers.

proactive people do not demand rights, they live them. Power is not something you demand or deserve, it is something you express.

You need the wisdom to know what is you and what is not you. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what you have the power to change and what you do not.

Plugging in to other people is often frustrating for “do-it-yourself” people who would like a how-to manual for solving out-of-control behaviors just as they would buy to teach themselves piano, plumbing, or golf. They wish to get this boundary-setting business over with quickly.

The most common resistance one gets from the outside is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.

The sincere searcher will value this approach and will take you up on your offer of support. The manipulator will resent the limits and quickly look for an easier touch somewhere else.