Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life

You need others who will be loving and supportive, but who will not rescue.

You need the wisdom to know what is you and what is not you. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what you have the power to change and what you do not.

She learned through the next few weeks that others were going to fight hard against her limits and that she needed to plan how she was going to fight back. If she did that, the chances of their changing were pretty good.

Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no.

But, over time, Bob took responsibility for his limits instead of wishing that Nancy would not want so much, and his limits took effect. She learned something that she had never learned before: the world does not exist for her. Other people are not extensions of her wants and desires. Other people have wants and needs of their own, and we must nego

Passive boundaries, such as withdrawal, triangulation, pouting, affairs, and passive-aggressive behavior, are extremely destructive to a relationship.

The most common resistance one gets from the outside is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.

“Every marriage is made up of two ingredients, togetherness and separateness. In good marriages, the partners carry equal loads of both of those. Let’s say there are 100 points of togetherness and 100 points of separateness. In a good relationship, one partner expresses 50 points of togetherness and 50 points of separateness, and the other does the

No weapon in the arsenal of the controlling person is as strong as the guilt message.