Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life

Practice is important in learning boundaries and responsibility. Our mistakes are our teachers.

Many people have found immense relief in the thought that they have no control over another person and that they must focus on changing their reactions to that person. They must refuse to allow that person to affect them. This idea is life changing, the beginning of true self-control.

Allow these critical people to be who they are, but keep yourself separate from them and do not internalize their opinion of you. Make sure you have a more accurate appraisal of yourself, and then disagree internally.

The problem arises when someone wants the job to provide what her parents did not provide for her: primary nurturing, relationship, self-esteem, and approval.

Welcome consequences as a teacher. Learning about sowing and reaping is valuable. It teaches us that we suffer losses when we aren’t responsible. The impulsive overeater has medical and social difficulties. The overspender faces bankruptcy court. The chronically late person misses plane flights and important meetings, and loses friendships. The pro

“I understand that you are upset that I will not do that for you. I am sorry you feel that way. How can I help?” Just remember that when you empathize, changing your no will not help. Offer other options.

“You have not because you ask not.” And the Bible adds “because you work not.”

“You know,” I said, “I’m asking you about friendships, and you’re answering about ministries. They’re not the same thing.” She had never considered the difference. Her concept of friendship was to find people with needs and throw herself into a relationship with them. She didn’t know how to ask for things for herself.

Can family be friends? Absolutely. But if you have never questioned, set boundaries, or experienced conflict with your family members, you may not have an adult-to-adult connection with your family. If you have no other “best friends” than your family, you need to take a close look at those relationships. You may be afraid of separating and individ