“Energy is a great equalizer in life. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living or how much money you have—the energy you put out is the energy you get back. Negative energy breeds negative community. Positive energy breeds positive community. It’s that simple.”

But then I learned about the “Blue Zones,” the communities that live the longest—Okinawans in Japan, Sardinians in Italy, Costa Ricans, and Seventh-Day Adventists.

This exercise was instrumental in helping me see patterns in the choices I made. It also provided me with the clarity to recognize that it’s always been up to me to choose which road to take and who to spend my time with—and that I get to keep doing that.

Questions to ask yourself one by one AFTER you’ve plotted your life path: 1. Whom did you look up to? 2. Whom did you depend on? 3. Who kept you safe emotionally or physically? Who didn’t? 4. Who worried about you when you were feeling stressed? 5. Whom did you take for granted?

Plot Your History. Use this page to list all the cities you’ve lived in, the schools you’ve attended, the jobs you’ve had, the relationships you’ve been in, even the smaller life moments that only you remember. Add musical artists and albums that changed your life, movies that you’ve seen ten times, books you’ve reread. Include people who have had

Across all four levels of my updated hierarchy of needs is one unifying ingredient: community. Without a community supporting you at each level, it’s nearly impossible to move up the hierarchy. As psychologist Noam Shpancer wrote, “Human beings, fundamentally, are distinctly, spectacularly social. Lonely and isolated, we cannot survive, let alone t

It’s a feeling of home, of “I can exhale here and be fully myself with no judgment or insecurity.” Belonging is about shared values and responsibility, and the desire to participate in making your community better. It’s about taking pride, showing up, and offering your unique gifts to others. You can’t belong if you only take.

new friends to see if anyone wanted to hang out, for fear of rejection. And I know now that I’m not alone in feeling these things. Being a thinking, feeling human is challenging—especially in the digital age!

Here they are from the bottom up: Basic Human Needs: Food, Water, Shelter, Belonging, Love, Positive Touch** Physical and Mental Well-Being: Physical Health, Consensual Sex, Job, Home, Security, Presence, Cultivation of Curiosity Purpose: Service Orientation, Finding Your Purpose on the Planet That Benefits Humankind (Parenting, Community) Joy: Pla