I think taking pride in and putting time and money towards your appearance is a positive thing if coming from a place of love for oneself, as watering a plant is done because you want it to stay healthy and grow. I think the emphasis should be less about beauty and instead about decentering men and refusing to fit inside the box the patriarchy puts... See more

Becoming ugly is dependent on thorough self examination. Ask yourself: what do I think I get by being pretty? Can it only be acquired from my looks? Is getting this thing still enjoyable if I only earned it with my appearance?

It is the part of me that knows that building my gender—my anything—around desirability or beauty is not just an ableist notion of what’s important, but will always keep me chasing what doesn’t want me. Will always keep me hurling swords at the very core of me.