Instead, we should pursue “five kingdom habits that build trust.’ These are the five habits that they suggest cultivating.

Pray. Pray for our own hearts to be soft but also pray for their whole lives.

Learn. We can learn what causes their distrust. Practice asking good questions.

Bond. Make space in your life for people. They write “The best conversations with non-Christians rarely occur inside a church building or at an event designed for seekers.” Get to know people in their lives.

Affirm. Work hard to find good things in them and their lives and name those. This does not require compromising the essentials of our faith.

Welcome. Welcome other people into our lives. This means that our lives need to match our words. “‘Come and see’ is one of the most authentic, transparent gifts we can give. It is better than any pat answer we might offer.”

It is not our job to make people come to faith. It is our work to live in a way that reflects an alternate kingdom, a family that people might be curious about. I don’t mean that we let go of our beliefs or ethics.6 But if the gospel is good news, it should look like good news. Imagine if the world were full of believers who loved the marginalized in their cities, who built strong, committed relationships with the people in their church, who sought unity among churches, who approached people with the love of Jesus, who used their skills and talents for the good of their communities. What would our witness look like then? If we were willing to lose, ready to learn, careful with our words, and quick to love others people might slowly become curious about what makes us that way. Our outrage, on the other hand, is probably not appealing to anyone.