Put simply, charismatic people are helpers. They are out to see others profit; they have the gift of grace.

That grumpy woman didn’t deserve to be treated kindly. But when she was treated not as she was, but as I wanted her to be and believed she could become, her perspective suddenly changed.

“Dream of what you want to be, the kind of life you wish to build. And believe in that dream. Be prepared to work for it. Always remember, each dream is important because it is your dream, it is your future. And it is worth working for.”

He gave me a simple definition, one that makes “charisma” easy to grasp: Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you. In other words, don’t try to sell other people on you, try to sell them on themselves.

In life, you are either going to see people as your adversaries or as your assets.

What’s the key to relating to others? It’s putting yourself in someone else’s place instead of putting them in their place.

People need to be encouraged. Eugene Lang believed in these kids and it made all the difference in how they lived the rest of their lives. The article goes on to show Lang’s impact: Lang’s students speak confidently of becoming architects, computer experts, entrepreneurs of all types.

The best way to become a person that others are drawn to is to develop qualities that we are attracted to in others.

Whatever your position in a relationship, if you are aware of a problem, it’s your responsibility to make a concerted effort to create a positive change. Quit pointing your finger and making excuses, and try being a catalyst by demonstrating and initiating the appropriate behavior. Determine not to be a reactor but an initiator.