To be awkward is to be hesitant in a socially damning way.

we internalize norms qua norms, not as distinctively moral or social. We experience normative motivation, not distinctively moral versus social types of motivation; moral motivation isn’t inherently stronger, and moral norms aren’t perceived as intrinsically more motivating—though they might be, depending on the occasion.

First, we can coin or co-opt a term or concept. Having a shorthand for something is a way to circumvent, or at least condense, awkward conversation and the job of describing it.

Thus, awkwardness is an epistemic double blow: by stopping us from discussing topics, it stops us from gathering the information about others’ expectations needed to determine which norms govern the issue.

awkwardness arises not because of conflicting norms, but because of conflicts within or between scripts: it feels impossible to perform one role without excluding the other.

Shifting our reaction from shame to awkwardness, or understanding that our shame is caused by awkwardness, corrects the impression of personal failure. It allows us to understand the case in terms of having been ill-served by our social resources.

If feeling awkward is the cost of social change, it should be borne by those with social advantage

Moments of awkwardness can make us feel somehow “wrong” or “misfit,” and we can view our inability to enact a social script as a reflection on us—that we have failed, or fallen short, or are somehow socially inept or defective.

To be physically misattuned is to experience many of these same feelings of alienation and insecurity; just as our emotional well-being and our physical well-being are linked, so are our emotional attunement and our physical attunement.